Yesterday I sat in a devotional at BYU-Idaho and wanted to cry. I was sitting there all alone in a room that literally sits thousands. This has been a common occurrence these last few weeks. It seems every time I am in a meeting or other gathering where there are more people than those in my immediate circle of friends I just want to disappear. Thankfully I remained in my seat and felt the spirit strongly as the speaker extorted us to live after the manner of happiness and to not let our trials own us. After all if we own our trials they end that much sooner.
That may sound strange but I have found it to be true. Once I reach the point that I can talk freely about my trials they change into something else, experiences. You see trials are hard, painful and halt our progress. Experiences teach us, empower us and ultimately allow us to reach our Father in Heaven. Once I can see my trials and tribulations as experiences the cease to be trials and thus become that much easier to deal with.
So you are probably still wondering why I was about ready to cry at the devotional. Well I was allowing my trials to own me. You see I still am in the trenches working to overcome some addictions. With the assistance of my Bishop, friends, family and fiance I am making progress. But sometimes I still slip and then the guilt comes, that destroyer of hope and robber of happiness. So that is why when President Clark (President of BYUI) said "You are welcome here" I almost lost it. More and more I felt like I did not belong and feeling the love a man who had never met me and knowing that it was real brought me to tears. He reminded me that I do belong exactly where I am because it is where the Lord led me.
So next time your trials seem to much to bear, own them. The next time you feel guilt, cry out to the Savior for His grace and love. The next time you feel like you don't belong remember you are welcome here.
And never forget Jesus loves you!
Until next time, Vaya con Dios!